Baggage Check

I had a pretty shitty life. From a young age and up I had been abused mentally, physically and sexually. The pattern repeated itself over and over until my 31st year.

I was stuck in a loveless marriage with an abusive man who lived off my disability checks and refused to do anything to help me.
My only escape was a game called EverQuest. Even there I was socially awkward and only talked to one or two people. A guy started stalking me. Instead of being afraid. I was thrilled that someone thought I was interesting and after sharing pictures even found me to be attractive. I had no interest in him but it opened my mind to the possibility of love and freedom.
One day he introduced me to an in-game friend who I think from that moment on I was spending everyday online with him. We were even talking every night on the phone. We started a wonderful online relationship and even though my life at home was horrible. I had this tiny piece of joy each day.
He offered to come down on my birthday for a visit, he would stay 10 days. I was excited and told my husband I was going to stay with a friend. (I do not endorse affairs)
When I got to his hotel room I was so nervous I almost walked away but I knocked and he opened the door. I was amazed at how tall he was. He’s 6’5 and I am 5’4. A decent difference. We started off our first few moments talking on the couch and then things tried to turned passionate.. It didn’t go anywhere because my Boobear was sick. He was sick the entire duration of our visit.
We spent the whole time snuggling, talking and watching TV shows we both enjoyed. It was a no pressure situation. When he left, we were both very sad. In fact he even called me on his ride to the airport. I had planned to kill myself after he left. I had my love and joy and it wasn’t going to get better. However something changed.

I asked if I could come visit him for a week. He was thrilled but asked for an extra week. (he needed to rent an apartment) I agreed. The day I left I took my computer and some clothes and that was it. I left everything behind, in fact I think it is still in my dads garage. I just never went back.

I’ve been with him for over 13 years, 12 of those are married and I am happy that I decided to get past my past. He knows all my skeletons and he knows how to support me when they come back to haunt me.