I heard a train and it made me think,
About dying in a way that’s kind of unique.
Just lay on the tracks, maybe take a sleep,
Eyes closed tight as the horn goes meep meep.
I think it would be fast and my emotions would hurt less,
However I think there’d be a hell of a mess..
Not suicidal just a quick thought.
I’ve always felt 16 so my age is always horrifying for me, especially as I pass big ones. For some reason this last one was really hard for me. I’m 45!!! For some reason it makes me feel like I should have done more with my life. Like I should be emotionally more mature. I’m not though so what am I gonna do? Fret on my birthday then move on I suppose.
My BFF is the most remarkable person I know. We met playing a game called Everquest. Little did we know us two adorable rogues would become best friends. We played together every day then hubby and I moved on to another game. I had made friends in games before and usually when we moved to another game we just lost track of the other people and that was that.
Something was different with this because without really planning to we reconnected. it’s been about 12ish years.
We have never met face to face and only talked on the phone a couple of times. We spend most of our time talking to one another on an Instant Messenger and we are remarkably similar. We are both Bipolar and we also have similar personalities.
She is a wonderful supporter who is not afraid to call me on my bullshit. Even my husband won’t do that. I like to call her my other other half. lol.
She is strong and beautiful and smart and funny and honestly one of the best people I have ever met in my entire life. I love her with all my heart and nothing could ever change that.
I trust her with my life.
I always believed that when I was all grown up I would never want for anything. I could eat anything that I wanted. I could go into the stores and request any item of any price and it would be mine.
Little did I know that there would be days where I was hungry. Times when all I could do of was dream of having the simplistic comforts.
At this point in my life, things are better and I have what a lot of people call first world problems. Took me a long time to reach this point but honestly I think life is better than I could have ever imagined.
Is he still in love with me?
His eyes say yes,
His action says yes,
Hie touch says yes,
Yet everything is tense
Am I still in love with him,
With all my heart,
With all my breathe,
With all my life,
Yet everything is tense
When will tension stop and our joy will shine through again. Time is being cruel and life is playing jokes.
When everything should be joy,
Why is it so hard, why is there tension at all?