Darkness

The sky is filled with ashen clouds,
The ground is black and tarry,
I remember when the moon was in the sky,
It was bright and it was starry.

The sun is gone and my bodies weak,
I can barely stand on my own.
Maybe I’ll just lay here and give up,
Dying all alone.

The Darkness has fallen over my heart,
There’s nothing but blackness all around.
I want to give up and not fight anymore,
Fall lifeless to the ground.

Fuck depression

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Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

Climate Control

059

She awoke feeling bleh. Her mind was a cloud and every inch of her skin was crawling with impatience. She knew that her depression had set in hard and deep.

She knew that even though the bed and sleep seemed like the most comforting thing to her at the moment she had to fight against the darkness that was creeping into her mind.

Moving to her computer she started to put on the makeup she kept there for such times and took the time and attention to feel good about what she’d done before getting dressed in something comfortable and cute.

Look how you want to feel right?

She headed toward the beach her anger at life building, causing her foolish thoughts of crashing into the assholes that so often filled LA roads. Just running her car into one of these idiots might lift her mood, but she drove on until she reached the coast.

Getting out of the car was the hardest part, already filled with self-hate and no self-esteem coming to the beach was always hard, too many beautiful people. Even though most of her was covered up she was conscious of her weight and scars.

Once away from the safety of her car she started walking along the path, the sun shining from the sky down on her. The ocean was a clear blue with frothy white caps. It was picturesque and peaceful.

Something strange began to happen, her face started to move. Her cheeks were dimpling and her teeth started to show as she smiled! That’s right she smiled. The more she stood outside the more she smiled and the better her mood was.

After 1 hour of walking the sand crests and oceanic view her mood had done a complete 180. She was happy almost to the point of skipping and her day looked hopeful.

Was it the sand, the ocean or the sun? I have no idea but I think the weather had something to do with it.

To My Dear Husband

Last but Not Least

Thank you for supporting me through all my crazy. The anxiety, the bipolarity, the insecurities and rash behaviors associated with my borderline personality disorder. Thank you for staying home with me when I just couldn’t leave and then hopping up and going out when I felt I could. You’ve never complained and always stood by my side, showing me more love than I ever thought I deserved.  Thank you for keeping me alive.

Life Is My Teacher

Life is my teacher and her lessons are tests,
I was born broken and for her that is best.
She never fails to teach me a something new,
She teaches each lesson with a beating or two.
She beats me and treats me like I’m nothing but dirt,
I walk around often feeling nothing but hurt.
Just when I think that I have nothing left for her to teach,
She pushes me down and says Life is a bitch.

This poem is for the writing challenge here : http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/student-teacher/