Category Archives: Life

The Mind Is The Thing

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Pick Your Gadget – Daily Prompt
So a time machine, an invisibility hat and a door to anywhere walk into a bar.. I’m kidding.

I wouldn’t time travel I have no want to see the future and no need to change the pass. The hat of invisibility would be fun for a while. I could check out what my hubby does at work all day. Sneak into amusement parks and zoo’s but it’s definitely not something I would get much use out of.
Now the door to anywhere. I was talking to my besty and she honestly had some very positive things to use this for. Her blog on it is over here.
I was depressed and agitated and just being my normal bipolar self. I couldn’t think of any of these items being used in any way positive. Then I took a 2 mile walk. It helped burn some of my agitation. I read some IM’s from said BFF about positive days I have had over the last while even though I could only see the darker side of things.
Like a light bulb going off I realized what I would do. If said door existed then I would be able to interact with whatever is on the other side of the door. I would use the door to enter my mind and see what was going on there.
I also think since I could enter my mind I would be able to interact with the negative things in my mind. I’d destroy the depression and anxiety. I would boost the positivity and love. I would dust and clean it until it was pretty and practically whole. If I’m going through a door to anywhere that is exactly where I am heading no matter how scary it might be. The only way to conquer a negative is with a positive.

Home Sweet Home

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Great Expectations – Daily Prompt

My husband and I plan to buy a home by the end of the year. I don’t mean a house though that is likely what it will be but a home.

Before we came out to California 3 years ago we purchased a house and lived there for several years. It was a brand new build, it was beige and it was like living in an apartment. Even though it was ours we never did anything to make it a home. It was nice enough don’t get me wrong. We rent it out now in fact so people have no issues with it. It just wasn’t our home. We bought quickly and never looked at anything but a few model homes to decide what we wanted. There was an urgency we felt that was imagined. We needed to stop living in apartments. Never felt right in that house though.

This time we are doing things the right way. We’ve given ourselves a reasonable goal and actually know the things that we want in our forever home. The things that will start to make it feel like ours as opposed to a building we are just living in. We’re making a list and we’re checking it 1000 times and we’re not going to compromise.

So at the end of the year we will own a home. I can’t wait to start making memories there.

Bucket List

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Dust in the Wind
This is the Daily Prompt from April 20th, I couldn’t do todays but I need to write.

  1.  Get better.
  2. Go Outside by myself
  3. See my sister Tammy
  4.  See my daughter
  5. Eat pie in every state + Europe
  6. Winnebago across the states.
  7. Backpack through Europe and other places with great old architecture across the ocean.
  8. Make a book of old barns.
  9. Have Canadian Chinese food again
  10. Go Skiing
  11. Get a corset piercing.
  12. Write a novel.
  13. Learn to sing.
  14. Live

 

 

Reading for Fun

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No Apologies

I absolutely adore reading supernatural novels. Teen, Adult, I don’t care. I absorb them like a sponge. I will read any of these books in 1 day if I sit down and focus. They are like brain candy. All the Vampires and Werewolves, Succubi and Witches and everything in between. A Few of my favorite authors are : Richelle Mead, Rachel Caine, J.R Rain, Patricia Briggs. I do like the Sookie books to but somewhere around 10 I just started wondering what kind of shifter she would have sex with next.

I don’t make time for reading like I should but when I do, I can guarantee it is going to be one of these authors or someone similar I will be curling up with.

Listen To Your Heart

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Powerful Suggestion

When I was growing up I looked at people probably more clinically then most. I didn’t trust anyone. I was hurt plenty and often. I made poor choices in friends and dates. I chose them completely on looks or things that they were involved in. I wanted to get married and be rich, I didn’t want to be poor anymore. I wanted pretty people around me because if they were pretty then so was I. I was great at choosing people who were ugly inside. I never followed my heart about a person. In fact if I felt anything remotely close to caring about someone who wouldn’t fit into these things I idealized I quickly and harshly ended it. Man I was stupid.

I wish I had of been told to just follow my heart. I would have likely had better quality relationships both with friends and the people I dated. I possibly would have more active friendships now. I say possibly cause of the whole crazy thang.

My husband was the first time I followed my heart and that worked out better than I ever imagined.

To My Dear Husband

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Last but Not Least

Thank you for supporting me through all my crazy. The anxiety, the bipolarity, the insecurities and rash behaviors associated with my borderline personality disorder. Thank you for staying home with me when I just couldn’t leave and then hopping up and going out when I felt I could. You’ve never complained and always stood by my side, showing me more love than I ever thought I deserved.  Thank you for keeping me alive.

Life Would Be Better

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If I Ruled the World – daily prompt

If I could change one force of nature to make the world a better place I would rule out sickness. No physical or mental. So people could enjoy their lives with one another. So there would be less unnecessary deaths. So everyone could have the option to enjoy the world without fear of contracting some disease.

Where people can go into the sun and enjoy it’s rays without fearing that it is poisoning them and scaring their skin.

Where it’s safe to touch doors and handrails and other peoples hands without instantly needed to sanitize to avoid flus and colds.

Where there are no hidden killers sitting silently in our body hoping to kill us before it is found and we can fight.

Where our minds are not our enemies but our creative friends that help us see the world in a more vibrant way.

I think death is a necessity as it makes room for our children to take over and do what they will to make the world theirs. A soft natural death of falling asleep and never waking up because your body and mind are just plain tired not filled with cancers and heart disease.

Life would be better without the fear of unexpected illness and death always lurking around the corner.

Getting Ready – A Bipolars Guide To A Night Out

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Normal Mood:
Shower – Want to Smell Great, Plus I’ll use this cute perfume.
Find outfit – look through closet and find something pretty easy.
Shoes – These are cute and can walk in them
Makeup – Not too much I hate the clean up afterwards.
Hair – I’ll wear it up, it’s easier and I am horrible at styling.
Husbands Compliment of me looking nice. – thank you!

Depressed Mood
Shower – Nah too much work, maybe tomorrow.
Find Outfit – I have no energy, I’ll just take this sundress that I threw on the floor a week ago.
Shoes – I wish I could just wear my slippers, but I guess I’ll change to sandals.
Makeup – Dun wanna
Hair – it looks fine, a little bedheady but that’s all the rage.
Husbands Compliment of me looking nice – ya whatever. Can I just go back to bed please?

Hypersexualized Mood
Shower – Invite hubby in for a quickie.
Find Outfit- Dance around the house naked, teasing hubby. Eventually pick out the sluttiest dress I have.
Shoes- 5 inch stilettos, perfect.
Makeup- Dark red lipstick and a smoky eye. Sultry.
Hair – Wow this curling iron looks like a dick. Ask hubby for another quickie.
Hubbies Compliment of me looking nice – Another quickie of course. What a great way to thank him. Why does he look pained?

Hypomanic Mood
Shower – Turn on the tunes and spend 30 extra minutes in the shower singing into the loofa.
Find Outfit- This one looks good, how about this one, this one, ooh I like this one. Maybe not.. This one? Hmm okay this one.
Shoes- Tries on 20 different Shoes, 1 foot at a time, running 2 hours late now. Show hubby them all and discuss 5 different topics with him while you are doing it.
Makeup – Damn my hand is shaking, guess I am going with the bright green. Do you know how come eyes are different colors? and that I’m part Irish?
Hair – Up? Down? Curls? Ugh I’ll just brush it out, my natural waves will do, right? Right?
Hubbies Compliment of me looking nice – Thanks, but did you mean the dress? Do the shoes look ok? Hey did you see the thing on the news about the stuff? Can I just stay home and paint, or make jewelry or write?

Bitchy Mood
Shower – Fuck that.
Find Outfit – I hate all these clothes, I hate everything in my closet.
Find Shoes – Throw a shoe at hubby for wondering what’s taking me so long
Makeup – No one will notice, screw it.
Hair – As I put a pony tail in I mumble and swear to myself about not wanting to go.
Hubbies Compliment of me looking nice – Fuck you. Start a fight about something stupid and end up not going.

Pile Up

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Just Another Day – Daily Prompt

My favorite part of the day is when my husband is finally relaxed at the end of the day and we go into the bedroom and watch one of the series we are currently marathon watching. We snuggle up and our babies(dogs) Ren and Charlie climb up the stairs and cuddle up close. It’s warm (sometimes to warm lol) and comforting.