Monthly Archives: May 2014

Save A Life

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The Kindness of Stranger – Daily Prompt


I’m older and slower then the other dogs here and it’s hard for me see. Sometimes I miss with my tongue when trying to kiss people, they has flavor but I just hit the holes in the gate. I’m 15 years old and cry a lot at night. I’m lonely. All my cage mates are gone. I can still smell the humans coming through though. Sometimes they don’t even stop by to see me.
I love my daily walk I get fresh air and when I see Jack come to take me for a walk I am excited. He starts taking me a different way and I start to shiver and quake with excitement. It makes me pee a little by accident on the floor. Jack understands though.
I’m taken to a room with 3 strange humans. A male, A female and one that is smaller then me! My tail starts wagging and I get a lot of pets. This is so much fun and feels good. I can hear them talking but the only words I understand are walk, drive, food, good.
The male reaches down to attach a leash to my collar and Jack bends down looking me in the eyes. He looks happy and says good boy! I’m a good boy! They start taking me away from Jack I am afraid and excited. We are going in a car!! I love hanging my head out of the window.
It’s a short trip and then we go into a building. It smells like people and a strange dog. A young pup comes up to me, smelling me and licking at me. I remember to be patient. They let me off the leash and I cautiously explore, finding a big comfy cushion to lie on. They call me a good boy and say the word home. I think I’m staying here. I nervously look around and close my eyes and sleep as I think of the word home.

Life Would Be Better

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If I Ruled the World – daily prompt

If I could change one force of nature to make the world a better place I would rule out sickness. No physical or mental. So people could enjoy their lives with one another. So there would be less unnecessary deaths. So everyone could have the option to enjoy the world without fear of contracting some disease.

Where people can go into the sun and enjoy it’s rays without fearing that it is poisoning them and scaring their skin.

Where it’s safe to touch doors and handrails and other peoples hands without instantly needed to sanitize to avoid flus and colds.

Where there are no hidden killers sitting silently in our body hoping to kill us before it is found and we can fight.

Where our minds are not our enemies but our creative friends that help us see the world in a more vibrant way.

I think death is a necessity as it makes room for our children to take over and do what they will to make the world theirs. A soft natural death of falling asleep and never waking up because your body and mind are just plain tired not filled with cancers and heart disease.

Life would be better without the fear of unexpected illness and death always lurking around the corner.

Getting Ready – A Bipolars Guide To A Night Out

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Normal Mood:
Shower – Want to Smell Great, Plus I’ll use this cute perfume.
Find outfit – look through closet and find something pretty easy.
Shoes – These are cute and can walk in them
Makeup – Not too much I hate the clean up afterwards.
Hair – I’ll wear it up, it’s easier and I am horrible at styling.
Husbands Compliment of me looking nice. – thank you!

Depressed Mood
Shower – Nah too much work, maybe tomorrow.
Find Outfit – I have no energy, I’ll just take this sundress that I threw on the floor a week ago.
Shoes – I wish I could just wear my slippers, but I guess I’ll change to sandals.
Makeup – Dun wanna
Hair – it looks fine, a little bedheady but that’s all the rage.
Husbands Compliment of me looking nice – ya whatever. Can I just go back to bed please?

Hypersexualized Mood
Shower – Invite hubby in for a quickie.
Find Outfit- Dance around the house naked, teasing hubby. Eventually pick out the sluttiest dress I have.
Shoes- 5 inch stilettos, perfect.
Makeup- Dark red lipstick and a smoky eye. Sultry.
Hair – Wow this curling iron looks like a dick. Ask hubby for another quickie.
Hubbies Compliment of me looking nice – Another quickie of course. What a great way to thank him. Why does he look pained?

Hypomanic Mood
Shower – Turn on the tunes and spend 30 extra minutes in the shower singing into the loofa.
Find Outfit- This one looks good, how about this one, this one, ooh I like this one. Maybe not.. This one? Hmm okay this one.
Shoes- Tries on 20 different Shoes, 1 foot at a time, running 2 hours late now. Show hubby them all and discuss 5 different topics with him while you are doing it.
Makeup – Damn my hand is shaking, guess I am going with the bright green. Do you know how come eyes are different colors? and that I’m part Irish?
Hair – Up? Down? Curls? Ugh I’ll just brush it out, my natural waves will do, right? Right?
Hubbies Compliment of me looking nice – Thanks, but did you mean the dress? Do the shoes look ok? Hey did you see the thing on the news about the stuff? Can I just stay home and paint, or make jewelry or write?

Bitchy Mood
Shower – Fuck that.
Find Outfit – I hate all these clothes, I hate everything in my closet.
Find Shoes – Throw a shoe at hubby for wondering what’s taking me so long
Makeup – No one will notice, screw it.
Hair – As I put a pony tail in I mumble and swear to myself about not wanting to go.
Hubbies Compliment of me looking nice – Fuck you. Start a fight about something stupid and end up not going.

Pile Up

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Just Another Day – Daily Prompt

My favorite part of the day is when my husband is finally relaxed at the end of the day and we go into the bedroom and watch one of the series we are currently marathon watching. We snuggle up and our babies(dogs) Ren and Charlie climb up the stairs and cuddle up close. It’s warm (sometimes to warm lol) and comforting.

Starting a New Life

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Baggage Check

I had a pretty shitty life. From a young age and up I had been abused mentally, physically and sexually. The pattern repeated itself over and over until my 31st year.

I was stuck in a loveless marriage with an abusive man who lived off my disability checks and refused to do anything to help me.
My only escape was a game called EverQuest. Even there I was socially awkward and only talked to one or two people. A guy started stalking me. Instead of being afraid. I was thrilled that someone thought I was interesting and after sharing pictures even found me to be attractive. I had no interest in him but it opened my mind to the possibility of love and freedom.
One day he introduced me to an in-game friend who I think from that moment on I was spending everyday online with him. We were even talking every night on the phone. We started a wonderful online relationship and even though my life at home was horrible. I had this tiny piece of joy each day.
He offered to come down on my birthday for a visit, he would stay 10 days. I was excited and told my husband I was going to stay with a friend. (I do not endorse affairs)
When I got to his hotel room I was so nervous I almost walked away but I knocked and he opened the door. I was amazed at how tall he was. He’s 6’5 and I am 5’4. A decent difference. We started off our first few moments talking on the couch and then things tried to turned passionate.. It didn’t go anywhere because my Boobear was sick. He was sick the entire duration of our visit.
We spent the whole time snuggling, talking and watching TV shows we both enjoyed. It was a no pressure situation. When he left, we were both very sad. In fact he even called me on his ride to the airport. I had planned to kill myself after he left. I had my love and joy and it wasn’t going to get better. However something changed.

I asked if I could come visit him for a week. He was thrilled but asked for an extra week. (he needed to rent an apartment) I agreed. The day I left I took my computer and some clothes and that was it. I left everything behind, in fact I think it is still in my dads garage. I just never went back.

I’ve been with him for over 13 years, 12 of those are married and I am happy that I decided to get past my past. He knows all my skeletons and he knows how to support me when they come back to haunt me.

Vacation From My Brain

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Witness Protection – The Daily Prompt
I am bipolar
I have borderline personality disorder
I have social anxiety
I am agoraphobic

For some reason though these things disappear when I am on vacation in another state. I don’t know anyone where I live currently but maybe its because I know if I mess up they will never see me again. So I am more relaxed. I can go to fairs and beaches and water parks (with the fish and mammals). I can swim in the hotel pool in fact you will rarely get me out of it. I’ll eat in restaurants and go to bars. All things that I normally would never do.

That’s not to say I don’t have some anxiety it just is overridden by the joy of doing things.

I’ve just recently started leaving my home to do small things like walk around the block. However I went to Vegas for my mom in laws wedding and did things I have never done before. I went in a cab, I went down to the casino a couple times on my own and I ate at two different restaurants. So I think complete strangers are the only ones that get to really witness my accomplishments.

This Freaked My Dog Out

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026 My little yorkie started barking in the middle of the night because of this reflection.. Creepy Right? It’s just a reflection of a painting on top of a bunch of boxes but it sure made my husband do a double take. I should have told him it was a ghost to make him a believer LOL.

I Love You

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Pick Me Up

What is the one word or phrase that immediately cheers you up when you hear it?

No matter how badly I feel emotionally or physically hearing the words I love you immediately make me smile.  They make my heart feel warm and for some reason it allows me to relax for the moment.

These three words say so many unsaid things. They say I support you, I understand you, I need you, I want you, I’ll be there for you. They tell me just how special I am to have earned them.

They are the three words that keep me alive.

Spring – I Love The Rain

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_photo_challenge/spring-2/

Life Is My Teacher

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Life is my teacher and her lessons are tests,
I was born broken and for her that is best.
She never fails to teach me a something new,
She teaches each lesson with a beating or two.
She beats me and treats me like I’m nothing but dirt,
I walk around often feeling nothing but hurt.
Just when I think that I have nothing left for her to teach,
She pushes me down and says Life is a bitch.

This poem is for the writing challenge here : http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/student-teacher/